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“I want to be a shepherd”

Good Will Hunting is one of my all time favorite movies. God only knows how many times I have watched it. There are so many profound lessons in it. So many good quotes. It’s funny. It’s sad. The actors are HOTT!! The actress is gorgeous. It has everything a movie should have and more.

The year leading up to me getting out of the Coast Guard was full of people telling me how many options I had and how great I was going to do on the outside. While I appreciated the support and the compliments and I purposely set myself up to have all the options I had/have–the world being my oyster is NOT comforting.

Sean: So what do you really want to do?

Will: I want to be a shepherd…I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little spread, get some sheep and tend to them

Does anyone know what they want to do with their lives?!? Anyone? What is the perfect job? What does it look like? Is it a high paying job? Is it a job you enjoy? Is it low stress? Is it few hours?

My options:

Use my GI Bill and go to college. (BARF!!)

Get a civilian Search and Rescue Coordinator job. I know I’m the best of the best. I know I can succeed at it. It pays well. Schedule may or may not be good. High stress. Still semi-attached to the Coast Guard. Still sucking the government’s tit.

Continue as a civilian instructor. No stress. Good hours. Highly qualified. No raise for any foreseeable future. No promotion ever. No personal growth.

Take another job. What job? What’s out there? What salary do I ask for? What benefits do I need?

I’m about to sign an acceptance letter for a Quality Assurance job. The interviews went great. I researched the company. I asked questions. I passed their “test” They offered me the job. It felt great…until an arbitration agreement came with the offer letter. Something else I know nothing about.

I have forgotten what it is like to not be the subject matter expert. I’ve forgotten what it is like to feel lost. I continue to gain self confidence and feel better about my body only to hit these speed bumps. And they knock me off my game. I want to stay safe. I want security…

BUT, I also want to grow. So, I stopped panicking and remembered I have a friend who is a lawyer. I had her look over the agreement and she said I could sign it. So, I’m going to.

Sorry blog followers “I have to see about a girl…”

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